Trust

The first mistake, it seems was trusting the Trust "Relationship Manager". We had a lovely chat, which I discussed a while ago here, and he assured me that everything would be set up, and I would get a nice chunk of my moolah today.

Not.

It seems that Rick Schultz, who is no longer a "Relationship Manager" (though he still has voice mail) didn't do anything at all with my trust, including liquidating any of it so that I can get money. Not today, not tomorrow, not for weeks, possibly months, as someone else picks up his dropped ball. Here I am with a party to pay for on Saturday and about $100 left from tomorrow's paycheck. The rest is already committed to paying for my most recent automotive disaster (post dated check held till tomorrow), renewing my license tags (had to do it today) and paying to keep the lights on.

So... instead of looking forward to the end of endless and increasingly threatening creditor calls, I can instead anticipate more of the same for the forseeable future.

The nice fellow who's always disbursed money from Mom's trust is supposedly going to pick up the slack. I am to call him tomorrow - he was in a conference call this afternoon. At most I might be able to get $2k -- the liquid portion of Dad's trust -- and I just hope to God I can get it before the check I have to write for the party Saturday clears.

Surely someone there should have mentioned that Schultz was no longer handling my disbursement when I called on the 15th? Of course, I left a message for the disbursement guy and he never called me back, so perhaps it's business as usual for National City Bank. I sure as hell hope not.

I guess it's a good thing I called the general number this afternoon when I didn't get a call back from Mr. Schultz. I thought it was odd that I hadn't gotten anything to sign or anything, but I am so totally ignorant about financial matters that I was only mildly concerned.

I just can't seem to catch a break. I think I'll just go cry now...

South Beach Reflection

I'm finishing up week 3 on South Beach, which I keep wanting to call the South Park diet. Which would be cheesy poufs and I-don't-want-to-think-what-else.

I'm pretty sure I'm now losing weight, as both pants and watch are looser. I don't have easy access to a scale that goes high enough, so I'm guessing.

It seems, somewhat oddly to me, that I've lost my appetite. I still get hungry and I still enjoy good food, but I lack appetite. I think this may be what they talk about in the book when they say that your cravings will subside. It just took me a little longer.

Just by way of example... I made popcorn last night, which I desperately craved the entirety of Phase I. I make theater-style lower fat/salt popcorn in my Whirley-Pop, and generally I eat all of a bucket of popcorn. I ate about 2 cups and I was done. It's weird. Great, but weird. I'll take it. It would be really nice to loose 100-150 lbs, and if I'm not desperately craving the stuff I shouldn't have, it'll be a lot easier.

The complicated mind of allupinhere: Dear dear kitty cats,

On a lighter note, here's an open letter to the cats, from a random blog I wandered into. The complicated mind of allupinhere: Dear dear kitty cats,

:: snicker ::

* No matter how many times you ask me to open the door, the weather hasn't changed. And yes, it's the same out the other door.

Fifty

Woah.

I'm fifty. Half a century. Well past the mid-point of any average life, and given my obesity and diabetes, I can probably expect less than an average lifespan. If I'm going to do something worthwhile with my life, I'm running out of time.

I'm more than a little freaked out by it. I don't feel like a grownup, much less someone eligible for AARP membership. I got a membership application in yesterday's mail, and will probably join for the discounts. But it's weird to be eligible. My knees feel about 90, but the rest of me... well... no. I don't feel middle-aged, and yet there it is on my driver's license. 50. Sheesh.

Not that I think my life has been a waste. I've made a lot of friends, been a good friend a time or two, and done a thing or two that I'm proud of, like CARP and Living Force (not that I can bear what LF is becoming under new management). But... there's nothing that I feel I can point at and say "there - that's my contribution to the world". Nothing that has lasting value, nothing that I would be proud to have in my obituary. I'm not a success in my field - I am not even sure what my "field" is. I'm not married, I didn't raise a family... I just... am. If I disappeared tomorrow, people would miss me but there wouldn't be much of an impact.

I'd better get crackin'; time's a'wastin'.

Must Have!

LEGO Shop: Gear, Books, Watches, and More: Vampire Key Chain (KC663)

Ohhhh... I have to have this. An itty bitty vampire keychain... I didn't even know they made vampire or Halloween Legos!

It's so cuuuuuuute!

(link courtesy of the Vampyres list)

Oops, It Did It Again

So... Saturday I drove my elderly Voyager minivan around the corner to pick up a friend for our D&D home game (which is in Howell now, about half an hour away), and while I was waiting smoke began to pour out from under the hood.

Now, I don't know much about cars, but I do know that smoke-coming-out is a Bad Thing. I turned it off and flung open the hood, to find antifreeze everywhere. The smoke being boiling antifreeze... Again, even I know this is a Bad Thing. I scooted back around the block and parked it in the carport, and phoned my friend to let him know we were taking his car.

About this time last year my mini-van blew a head gasket to the tune of $1300 or so, and I was filled with fear. My friend Reimer is in Germany and I've been babysitting his car (it's nice to have two carports), so I emailed him for permission to borrow his car for a couple of days while mine was being fixed. Sunday I had it towed to the mechanic (the incomparable Badgleys, who refuse to have a web presence, as they have all of the business they can handle), and yesterday it was fixed. Fortunately it was only a hose, so the total was less than $100, including an oil change (which I tend to be overdue for).

As old as the car is, I'm lucky that I don't have more problems with it.

South Beach - 105

Woah. 105. That was my BG reading this morning. You might need to be a diabetic (or the loved one of a diabetic) to understand what that means. Since my diagnosis my fasting (first thing in the am) BG has never been lower than 120 without some kind of medication. I've been off my medication for several days (ran out, can't afford it till payday), and my BG is golden.

I'm still relatively miserable with the dietary restrictions -- I think that the physical cravings may be easing, but the psychological cravings are still strong. I'd just about kill for some popcorn or pizza... but dang. It works. My BG was creeping into the "out of control" range with readings of 160 to 180 a couple of times a week (including one memorable fasting of 148), and now it's into the non-diabetic range.

I don't know if I can sustain this restricted of a diet forever, but it sure is doing the trick for the blood sugar.

What Level of Divine Power Do You Have

You are one the Chosen. one of the few privileged mortals that gods can work through.

What level of divine power do you have?
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Greetings from Joss - Serenity

Greetings from Joss - Serenity

No comment, none needed, except that I can hardly wait till April 22, 2005!

Party Thoughts

I've been thinking about this 50th birthday party, and why it seems to be so important to me, and I've concluded that this is THE party. The one party you have in your life that outshines all the rest and that is an anchor point for a lifetime of memories. It's my wedding reception, my graduation, my prom -- all of the parties I never had. It's also probably the last party I'll have. After this, I plan to pretty much ignore my birthdays (maybe I can find a way to age in reverse?). I just hope it goes off well, and that most of my friends can make it.

A Mouse's Progress

Actually, I think mice move pretty quickly compared to my attempt to clean up my house, but hey, at least I made progress. I've cleaned up the sink, mirror and counter in the downstairs half-bath, and managed to get all of the kitty litter and trash out to the dumpster (thanks, Lisa and Matt!).

I'm on day two of the South Beach diet and I'm hungry and cranky - I suspect I'm doing something wrong. Probably not eating enough free veggies/salad. Phil's family is on it (his diabetic dad was told to lose weight or else), so I thought I might as well give it a try out of solidarity. I need to lose more weight and I figured it couldn't hurt. I'm craving carbs desperately, but am hoping that this will ease as I spend more time in really-low-carb-land. At least my blood sugar is down into the desirable range (100-120) again.

Oprah Winfrey Opens 19th Season with Car Giveaway

I guess I'm getting soft in my old age, but this brought tears to my eyes. In the midst of news of slaughter across the world, it's heartening to hear about something nice happening. Go Oprah!

A Brief Meme

I want anyone and EVERYONE who reads this to post to write a comment telling me something that you'd like to do with me one day.

Give me some inspiration, people.

....Then post this in your journal (or don't, if you truly detest these memes) to find out what people want to do with you.

gacked from Enowyd

The Party is ON!

Much earlier this year (heck, it might have been last year) I told my beloved sister-of-my-heart (and kick-ass party planner) Colleen that I wanted a big party for my 50th birthday. Which is at the end of this month, as previously noted. Great procrastinator that I am, I didn't sit down to figure out the guest list (and the size of same) till last week. At which point, I realized we're looking at 150 people or so.

This ain't gonna fit in Colleen's barn. And Michigan weather is too unreliable for me to want to have it outside. So... I've been phoning hotels at every opportunity this week, and have achieved success. The Lansing Quality Suites Hotel has enough space, is open, and will even provide a room for the collection of kidlings that has cable and Disney.

And it's affordable. And they'll offer a nice room rate for my out-of-town friends ($69). I'm so tickled I'd dance, if my knees just didn't hurt so much.

Archaeology

Anyone who's ever been inside my place knows what a complete and utter disaster area it is. I don't like to clean, I live alone, and for the past 4 years I've had a perfect excuse to avoid cleaning, as all of my time was consumed by Living Force. On top of that, I'm a packrat and I hate to throw away so much as a scrap of paper until I'm sure I won't need it. It's not so much cleaning as archaeology that's needed.

However... I have resolved that this year I will be getting my two-story/finished basement townhouse condo ready to sell, so that my wretched knees and I can get a place that's all on one level. So... I visualize cleaning quite a bit, but many evenings still find me on the couch napping off depression. Not much cleaning gets done that way.

Yestereve, however, I had a bunch of laundry to do and managed to actually clear floor space in the living room. Yes indeedy, there is carpet there (though it needs vacuuming tonight, and serious carpet cleaning at some point).

Tonight, I take out the trash!

(Living alone sucks, it does...)

Which Literature Classic Am I?

J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings. You are entertaining and imaginative, creating whole new worlds around yourself. Well loved, you have a whole league of imitators, none of which is quite as profound as you are. Stories and songs give a spark of joy in the middle of your eternal battle with the forces of evil.

Which literature classic are you?
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Gacked from Irishspy

Gencon Report

I posted a brief summary of my Gencon adventure in my LiveJournal Gaming weblog. The short form is that I had a great time, and intend to do this more often.

Wow. Who knew that cons could be FUN when you don't work them?

Hero Writ Large

"The ultimate aim for a warrior is to lay down his sword."

I saw "Hero" today, and it was utterly magnificent. Interestingly, the ticket clerk mentioned that the film was subtitled before I bought my ticket - I suppose that's a barrier for some people.

In any event, it's a complex and visually arresting story, and well worth the time and money. Jae-bob says "see it"!

How Jedi Are You?

:: how jedi are you? ::

Two Very Different Campaigns

Two Very Different Campaigns

I've been avoiding blogging on politics, as it just tends to raise my blood pressure... but dang if this doesn't demand my attention. In summary, a man who might have had a dissenting opinion (wearing a Kerry/Edwards t-shirt) was escorted from a Bush campaign event; the same fellow, wearing a Bush/Cheney shirt, was welcomed at a Kerry rally.

Which begs the question -- who do I want in charge of my country? Someone who accepts dissent, or someone who requires a loyalty oath to attend an event? I call it a no-brainer...

Let the celebration begin!

My 50th birthday is at the end of this month. I've decided to embrace and celebrate the milestone, because the alternatives are too depressing to consider. I mentioned to my current boss, in passing, that I'm facing that milestone, and yesterday she called me into her office.

Waiting there was a lovely little chocolate cake, and everyone in the office to sing me happy birthday! She remembered my birthday was this month, but transposed it from the last day to the first day. It was a lovely thing, and so we're calling it the beginning of a month-long celebration.

What the heck, why not?